I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
