Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck

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(703): View more from Virginia

She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...

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(917): View more from New York City

I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying

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(707): View more from California

just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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(613): View more from Ontario

Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION

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