every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
