I'm going to jail i love you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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