I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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