We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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