I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
