Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
