is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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