Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
