The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
