Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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