I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
