I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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