Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
