perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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