super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
