Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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