my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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