So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
