At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
