Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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