apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
