He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
