it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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