He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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