Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
