The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
