k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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