That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
