I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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