do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
