in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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