dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
