Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
