dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
