omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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