To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
