honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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