I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
