you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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