I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
