she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
