Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
