Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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