For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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