can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
