just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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