those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
