Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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