I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
