She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
