I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize