What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
