Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
