What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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