I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
