Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
