i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
