he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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