Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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