Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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