dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
